Dreams...

I had a dream last night. I saw everything that I really don't want to see.

In my dream, I was in Gabaldon and I saw ex. When I approached him, His gf approached and I introduced myself. However, I managed to get him alone and tell him how hurt I feel, that he made fun of me and other bitter stuffs. He looked at me without any concern so I finally asked him if he still love mo. Then, his response seemed to be very genuine that I really felt its real. He gave me a slight nod and an expression saying"hindi na eh...". I asked him if "wala na ba talaga?" "oo...". I feel the pain in my dream but I was able to hold it and I told him to love his gf.

I approached the gf and asked her her name which I forgot then I want to tell her to take care of his man and that she landed on a very amazing man, etc. In the end, it seemed that we were very good friends... Hahaha


Then I woke up...

It was just a dream but felt very real. I saw them hugging and kissing, and that felt real... Perhaps the reason why this issue resurfaced is because I was told by a friend that I seemed okay, that I have moved on... Actually, I am okay in the sense that I can function daily, that somehow I was able to control my emotion, to react properly, to manage my thinking and to look forward. There's nothing I could gain if I will cry my heart out and I just want him and myself to be happy. At times, it hurts but it only hurts when I reminisce about the "used to be's" and the "should have been's" but there's really nothing I can do about it. It's really hard and I'll admit that I think about him all the time and it hurts. Hurting is normal for me at least it gives me realizations on where could I go from here.

I want to take this slowly but surely and I am positive that I will love again...n_n.

Berembeng

This is Maeve Dillan Alvarez dela Rosa, my one-year old pamangkin currently in the care of my mom and dad. Though he seemed thin compared to other kids, he is quite resistant to common sickness. he is also very responsive to his environment. Unlike other kids, he did not exhibit much of the hands-to-mouth habit (but the picture suggests that he prefer direct contact with the mouth :)).

At first, we thought he was a preterm baby but the doctor said otherwise.

Anyway, why Berembeng? One thing about having a pregnant family member is the name game. Of course, every parent wants the best possible name that the baby will carry forever. My brother-in-law said it should be Maeve Dillan, from some greek god meaning intoxicator or something (he wanted his kid to be an intoxicator??? yes yes...). On the other hand, I prefer simple names but theyr wouldn't listen. So, me and Chel decided to play a joke on the "very beautiful and unique name" of his. We pull the VE from MAEVE and imagined what cute name can be constructed. Whala!!! Vengveng, Bengbeng!

We were laughing then when Mama gave her witty suggestion: "BEREMBENG!". She likes playing with words a lot (Tam-Tam to Taramtam, Kala to Kala-bube, Bruce Wayne to Brushwang, etc...) Its actually not our fault but my mom's that's why he was called Berembeng...

Then a kitten came into the household and mama gave the name: MERENGMENG!