Chasing Karen…n_n

Sunday, September 26, 2010
1:51 PM

These past few weeks have been hectic, physically and emotionally. I was so happy about the things I had accomplished that produces much-needed self-esteem. I have also been window shopping for potential boyfriends (yeah!) considering my recuperation period. Honestly, I have been enjoying my solitary for some time now which made me think about quite a lot about my life: my mistakes, my blessings and especially, the lessons. But this is not what I want to share for the moment, but the 'specs' of my ideal soon-to-be boyfriend (I'll enjoy this!).

1. He is a THE man. Yup, my stereotype of my man. This is not physical, mind you but the way he carries himself. People around me have the idea that I am attracted to rugged guys (which I think is true). They are so cute because they give you the feeling of security. But of course, most of those guys are attracted to slim sexy girls who needs some kind of protecting (oh crap…). Anyway, I am still allowed to have my ideals, right?

2. He is sensible. It was amazing how two guys talking about the same thing but has totally different effect on me. I have met guys who bored me to death when they talk (or text). It's not really the choice of topic but how the topic is being carried. Pagdadala. There should be spontaneity and fluidity. He can make any topic really interesting.

3. He is in control. I like dominant guys (but not the bossy type). He should be able to show his dominance for me to let down my guard. I have a tendency to intimidate people whom are not able to handle me. I should be able to lean on him in times of needs. But don't get me wrong, he should be also ready to show emotions if he had to. Don’t need that macho man if he'll snap later on because of undisclosed distress (no whiners please!).

4. Finally, he'll let me know or I'll know if its him…n_-. I'm not pretty, not sexy but my soul mate will look pass all of that.

These statements are good for my current state of mind because I may be just missing my ex (not that he posses all 3 characteristics). One of my learning in this experience is that I really don’t have a stable ideal guys I tend to like what I see when I see them. It's all about fate. Perhaps only the last part will remain true all through out: I'll know.

I thank the break-up for letting me discover new aspects of my self which I was missing. I can feel myself now, my individuality, my femininity. I cannot even remember the last time I felt this. Is this the first time?