I Remember

Thursday, October 07, 2010
9:27 PM

I remember the girl, but I cant remember the feelings anymore… Is this familiar? Nah…

I remember the boy and still remember the feeling as if I was living it. I don’t know when will come the time that I could live an hour without him visiting my thoughts. I hate it every time I think about him, anything that is associated with him. Come to think of it, he is not really "the catch" and I know I should've known better to cry over him. People would tell me that he is not really my lost in the end, that many more will come, way better than him. At this point, I can feel that my worth as a woman has come up than before I was with him. The problem with me is that I have equated my with his affection and relationship with me. Any girl should always be guided by their identity and self, not with anyone else.

Well, I hope the best for him. I noticed that the board exam result had came up and I hope that he passed. I know he passed and this will be the start of his uphill climb. He should be able to take life seriously now, and not everything will be easy but he'll manage. He has dreams and the necessary determination to achieve them. I was hoping that I will be the one to share the sweetness of that success but I was found lacking so some other girl is on that position right now. She'll enjoy it.

As for me, I should be able to forgive myself for thinking that I can be the one, that he is the one. I should be able to forgive destiny for wrecking my plans and my dreams. I should be able to forgive myself and let go. Forgive and let go. I have my own struggles and fixing my heart and mind in the past and envying their sweet moments will do me no good. Travel your own path girl and somewhere along that road, you'll find what is right for you, what is meant for you. Live and love. Life goes on.