Sunday, January 10, 2010 7:47 PM

My relationship with him has grown from bad to worse. He gave me today's date as a deadline on his verdict regarding the state of our affair. I waited anxiously for January 10 to come and now I am here. No messages, no phone call, no visit. What is that suppose to mean? Earlier, I learned that his grandfather was taken to the community hospital and his mother is selling "things" just to get by perhaps. I think its ok if he'll miss his verdict regarding our relationship. Like what he used to say, he is very confused right now thinking about many things (I don’t know if I am included). Hmmmm… I am hurt and anxious. Both of my celphones are beside me now, hoping it will beep delivering a message from an unknown number. I don’t know but I am waiting. I am constantly feeling inadequate because of his absence. I guess I have to expect the worst right now: no message from him will come tonight or tomorrow night or any other night for the rest of the week, month/s…years….OH BULLSHIT!