Almost after a year

I want to write anything, just anything.

I was thinking about my recent activity with my ex. A moment away from my hometown, not being there is actually helping me cope with anything I am feeling. The scene that Sunday afternoon kept on rewinding over and over again and people are telling me to stop thinking, caring or bothering myself about them.

Why?

1. We are not lovers anymore. We broke up last October and been in the rocks before I perish (I like that description) last week. Hmm.. Could I have brought everything to myself? I mean, could this be my fault. I kept coming to his house, texting him. Well, he should've said STOP! Will he really push me away? One friend told me that I really should consider the possibility that he has been trying to avoid me but I kept on coming. He can't push me because its "ungentlemanly" so, the rest was history.
2. But I was trying to avoid him and its not that he is not allowed to fall in-love with other girls that’s why I kept on asking if he has a girlfriend ( which he constantly denied until last Sunday). If I just knew he has a girl, I could have avoided him, had a boyfriend for myself too, ehehehe.
3. I don’t want to be the victim! Am I really the victim? I just believed him and got hurt. Okay, I don’t know if I'm really the victim here but I feel like one. So now I really feel like a victim but I'll fight, definitely. I will not be left out. Just gonna go out there and fly!
4. He lied alright, but I just want to move-on. There's really nothing to do about it at this point. Will I just stay here and bleed my heart out or go out there and show everyone the fighter in me?
5. Everybody hurts, everybody cries (The Corrs) and I'm just having my fair share. Sometimes I ask myself, why can't I just ne like other girls with their seemingly peaceful relationship… I can name a few but who knows right? A few years ago, perhaps, other girls envy me because of my relationship with my ex.
6. The man for me is out there or if he's not, I'll be happy with the things I have. Gotta stay positive, happy and focused.n_n