Dreams...

I had a dream last night. I saw everything that I really don't want to see.

In my dream, I was in Gabaldon and I saw ex. When I approached him, His gf approached and I introduced myself. However, I managed to get him alone and tell him how hurt I feel, that he made fun of me and other bitter stuffs. He looked at me without any concern so I finally asked him if he still love mo. Then, his response seemed to be very genuine that I really felt its real. He gave me a slight nod and an expression saying"hindi na eh...". I asked him if "wala na ba talaga?" "oo...". I feel the pain in my dream but I was able to hold it and I told him to love his gf.

I approached the gf and asked her her name which I forgot then I want to tell her to take care of his man and that she landed on a very amazing man, etc. In the end, it seemed that we were very good friends... Hahaha


Then I woke up...

It was just a dream but felt very real. I saw them hugging and kissing, and that felt real... Perhaps the reason why this issue resurfaced is because I was told by a friend that I seemed okay, that I have moved on... Actually, I am okay in the sense that I can function daily, that somehow I was able to control my emotion, to react properly, to manage my thinking and to look forward. There's nothing I could gain if I will cry my heart out and I just want him and myself to be happy. At times, it hurts but it only hurts when I reminisce about the "used to be's" and the "should have been's" but there's really nothing I can do about it. It's really hard and I'll admit that I think about him all the time and it hurts. Hurting is normal for me at least it gives me realizations on where could I go from here.

I want to take this slowly but surely and I am positive that I will love again...n_n.